DON’T TRUST YOUR HMO.
I’VE GOT SOME INSIDE STORIES
YOU OUGHT TO KNOW.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT
YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW
WHAT IS YOUR HMO FATE.
THEY’RE PLANNIN' MY FRIEND,
FOR THE END OF YOUR LIFE’S EPISODE.
WELL, IT’S PROFIT FOR THEM,
‘TILL THEIR PATIENTS HIT THE ROAD.

EXPENSIVE TESTS YOU DON’T NEED.
DIAGNOSIS DON’T FIT
INTO YOUR HMO’S GREED.
MRIs AND CAT SCANS
AREN’T IN THE FINE PRINT
OF HMO BUSINESS PLANS.
THEY LEAVE YOUR HEALTH CARE TO CHANCE
AND PUT YOU IN A TRANCE,
IF YOU TRY TO PROTEST.
SO STAY MEEK AND COMPLIANT.
DON’T BE A HEALTH PLAN PEST.

YOU’D NEVER KNOW IT,
BUT THEY SURE CAN WITHHOLD IT
AND NOT GIVE YOU THE CARE YOU NEED.
CANCER CARE IS CHEAPER
‘CAUSE YOUR HMO’S GRIM REAPER
KNOW JUST WHERE TO LEAD.

HMO PREGNANT MOMS
YOU’D NEVER KNOW ARE TICKING HMO TIME BOMBS.
WHEN THEIR DUE DATE IS HERE,
THE HEALTH PLAN HOSPITAL
ISN’T ANYWHERE NEAR.
RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC IS DENSE,
WHEN DELIVERIES COMMENCE
SO THAT MOMS DO EXPLODE.
‘CAUSE THEY GOT TO GIVE BIRTH
ON THE SHOULDER OF THE ROAD.

HMO FORMULARIES DON’T LIST MANY DRUGS
THAT COST MORE THAN CREAM CHEESE.
THE DRUGS THAT ARE NEW
ARE LOCKED IN THE SAFE
TO TREAT THE HMO’S CREW.
HEALTH PLANS ARE TEMPERMENTAL,
CLAIMING EXPERIMENTAL POLICIES RULE.
WHAT WAS GOOD FOR THE CAVEMAN
IN NEANDERTHAL HEALTH PLANS
IS STILL REALLY COOL.

HMOS SEND YOU HANDBOOKS
THAT ARE MEDICAL COOK BOOKS,
TELLING YOU TO HEAL YOURSELF.
HEALTH PLANS THINK YOU’RE JOKIN’
WHEN YOU LEG IS BROKEN.
TAKE AN ASPRIN OFF THE SHELF.

HMO LIVING WILLS
TELL DOCTORS NOT TO GIVE YOU
LIFE SAVING PILLS.
HMOS USE LOTS OF GUILT
THEIR RISK MANAGERS PLAY THEIR ROLE TO THE HILT.
WHEN IT’S TIME FOR CODE BLUE,
HMOS MAKE FAMILIES DO
THE PATIENT RIGHT IN.
SO DON’T GET THE CRASH CART.
A CHEAP DEATH IS NO SIN.

HMOs LOVE APPEALS.
PATIENTS ARE VICTIMS OF HEALTH PLAN RIGGED DEALS.
APPEALS NEVER END.
MULTI-LEVEL PROCEDURES
ARE YOUR HEALTH PLAN’S BEST FRIEND.
THEY GOT INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL
IN A PROCESS THAT’S ETERNAL
AND THEIR FORMS NEVER END.
BY THE TIME YOU GET FINISHED
IRS AGENTS SEEM LIKE FRIENDS.

HMOS KEEP YOU GUESSIN’
AND DON’T DO NO CONFESSIN’
WHAT THEIR INSIDE SECRETS ARE.
SO PATIENTS DON’T KNOW NUTHIN’
ABOUT HMO HANDCUFFIN’
AND NEVER WIN THE WAR.

HMO PRIVACY
DOES NOT APPLY TO PATIENTS LIKE YOU AND ME.
YOU CAN’T SEE YOUR RECORDS
WITHOUT PASSING THROUGH HMO METAL DETECTORS.
HMOs ARE REAL CUTE
IN A LEGAL DISPUTE.
DOCUMENTS GO AWAY.
INJURED PATIENTS GET NUTHIN’
DESPITE ALL THEIR PUFFIN’
WITHOUT THEIR OWN CIA.

MOST PATIENTS DON’T KNOW
WHAT LETTERS MEAN IN THE TERM HMO.
THE "H" IS FOR HYPE.
IF YOU BELIEVE IT, YOURE THE HMO TYPE.
THE "M" IS FOR MAD.
HMO BUREAUCRATS MAKE YOU FEEL REAL BAD.
THE "O" IS FOR ZERO.
HMO’S AREN’T YOUR HEROES
AND DON’T GIVE YOU NO CARE.
THEY RECOMMEND GATORADE AND A NAP IN THE SHADE
TO AVOID WEAR AND TEAR.

YOU’D NEVER GUESS IT
HMOS ARE INFESTED
WITH LAWYERS WHO ARE DEARLY PAID.
HIRED GUNS WRITE HEALTH PLAN CONTRACTS
TO INSURE THAT PATIENTS GET WHACKED
IF THEY BECOME HEALTH RENEGADES.

SO WHAT ARE THE NAMES
OF THE PEOPLE WHO CREATE
HMO DEADLY GAMES?
THERE’S DOCTOR JOHN GO-ALONG,
THAT GATEKEEPER DOC
WITH WHOM YOU PLAY PING-PONG.
THERE’S PROFIT R. PERISH.
THE HEAD BUREAUCRAT
OF YOUR HMO PARISH.
HIS PAY AND STOCK PRICE
MAKE YOUR FAMILY’S HEALTH
A ROLL OF THE DICE.

THEY PUT THEIR HEADS TOGETHER
IN FOUL AND FAIR WEATHER
TO STOP THE CARE PATIENTS NEED.
SO MAKE IT ONE FOR THEIR PROFIT
AND ONE MORE FOR THEIR GREED.

IN THE HMO PRISON
PATIENTS NEVER GET TO MAKE A DECISION.
YOUR DOCS ARE DICTATORS,
‘TIL THEIR PATIENTS END UP
IN HEALTH PLAN REFRIGERATORS.
THEY GIVE NO SYMPATHY
TO A FAMILY
HARMED BY THEIR POLICY.
NO BLAME AND NO SHAME
IS HMO QUALITY.

HEALTH PLAN MORALS ARE ABSENT.
HMOS WON’T SAY WHERE THEY WENT.
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
AND IF YOU TRY TO MAKE ‘EM,
YOU’LL NEVER OVERTAKE ‘EM.
IT’S LIKE BOXING KANGAROOS.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO,
IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD
ATTORNEYS TO SUE?
BOB’S BOOK HELPS IN YOUR FIGHTS,
WHEN YOU WANT TO ENFORCE
YOUR HMO RIGHTS.
HARDBALL’S THE NAME OF THE GAME.
JOIN OUR HALL OF FAME.
AND LEARN HOW TO PLAY WELL.
SELF-PROTECTION IS NEEDED
TO STOP HEALTH CARE FROM HELL.

PROTECTION IS NEEDED
TO STOP HEALTH CARE FROM HELL.