OH YES, THE HMO BLUES
ARE ALL OVER THE NEWS.
PATIENTS LOSE ALL THEIR FIGHTS,
‘CAUSE THEY AIN’T GOT NO RIGHTS.
PROTECT US ALL, PLEASE!

HMOS DON’T DO TESTS,
UNLESS THEY’RE UNDER ARREST.
DON’T FRET OVER THAT LUMP,
IN EVERY LIFE THERE’S A BUMP.
IT’LL JUST GO AWAY.

JOIN OUR MEDICARE HMO,
UNTIL YOU’RE SIX FEET BELOW.
WE’LL TREAT YOUR MOM LIKE OUR OWN,
UNTIL SHE GETS ON OUR PHONE.
WE’LL PUT HER ON HOLD!

HMOS ARE A DEAL,
UNTIL YOU TRY TO APPEAL.
YOU WON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE AT,
WHEN YOU MEET OUR BUREAUCRATS.
GIVE UP CAUSE YOU’LL LOSE!

WE’RE HERE FOR EMERGENCIES,
IF YOU HAVE HEART DISEASE
APPROVAL’S NOT GUARANTEED,
‘CAUSE WE’LL SAY THERE’S NO NEED.
GO READ YOUR CONTRACT!

DRIVE-THRU DELIVERIES ARE GREAT,
IF YOU HAVE A LATE DATE.
THE SAME DAY MASTECTOMY
CUTS COSTS FOR YOUR SURGERY.
SMILE LIKE GOOD LITTLE GIRLS!

HMOS ALWAYS RESIST
YOUR RIGHT TO A SPECIALIST.
GATEKEEPERS POLICE YOUR CARE,
AND TELL YOU LIFE ISN’T FAIR.
YOUR REQUEST IS DENIED!

HMO BUSINESS PLAN GOALS
AVOID FINANCIAL BLACK HOLES.
OUR DOCTORS RATION YOUR CARE,
AND PRETEND YOU’RE NOT THERE.
THAT’S OUR BOTTOM-LINE!

CONTROL OF MEDICAL FILES
CAUSES HMO SMILES.
YOUR RECORDS WILL DISAPPEAR
ALONG WITH YOUR DOCTOR’S FEAR.
YOU CAN’T GET NUTHIN’ ON US.

YOUR DOCTORS STOP WORK AT 5
SO YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE.
DON’T EVER CALL THEM AT NIGHT.
OUTTA MIND, OUTTA SIGHT.
THAT’S JUST NOT THEIR JOB!

YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO ASK QUESTIONS
AND MAKE CONSTRUCTIVE SUGGESTIONS.
COMPLAIN TO CUSTOMER SERVICE
WHO’LL TEACH YOU NOT TO DISTURB US.
DON’T BASH HMOS!

WE MAKE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS
TO STOP LEGAL SOLUTIONS.
WE DON’T WANT NO REGULATIONS
TO MAKE US HELP PATIENTS.
UNCHAIN HMOS!

HMOS PLAY HARDBALL.
WE KNOW HOW TO STONEWALL.
PATIENTS DON’T KNOW OUR RULES
SO THEY’RE EASY TO FOOL.
JUST LIKE FORREST GUMP!

WE PAY YOUR DOCTORS MORE
IF THEY KICK YOU OUT THE DOOR.
ONE THING THAT DOCTORS LAMENT
IS THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT.
YOUR DOC WORKS FOR US!

WE DO ADS, INFOMERCIALS
AND TV COMMERCIALS
IF YOU BELIEVE ALL OUR HYPE
YOU’RE THE HMO TYPE.
YOU’RE HARRY AND LOUISE!

HMOS USE WEASAL WORDS,
BECAUSE PATIENTS ARE NERDS.
IT’S OUR JOB TO MISLEAD.
THAT’S WHAT WE DO TO SUCCEED.
OUR PROFITS COME FIRST.

WE PRESERVE HMO WEALTH,
SACRIFICING YOUR HEALTH.
YOU SHOULDN’T EAT SMOKE OR DRINK.
NEVER MAKE YOUR BRAIN THINK.
TRUST YOUR HMO!

IF YOU THINK MY SONG’S TRUE,
I CAN HELP PROTECT YOU.
MY HUSBAND’S BOOK DOES THE JOB
TO STOP THE HMO MOB.
HMO HARDBALL’S THE NAME.